Mailbag: I Won! I Won!

Sometimes I get interesting e-mails from people who I have now idea who they are claiming I have won a great prize.  I just need send them some important information and the cash is mine.    The following e-mail is just one of those instances.

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From:	Daniel Jamon (d.daniel_jamon@sify.com)
Sent:	July-12-11 10:49:07 PM
To:

HELLO

I AM DANIEL JAMON FROM FEDEX COURIER COMPANY LIMITED, I AM DIPLOMAT ASSIGNED TO DELIVER PARCELS TO THE WINNERS OF UNITED KINGDOM -UK BLACK BERRY EMAIL DRAW AWARD PROMO.

YOUR OWN PARCEL IS CONTAINING A VERIFIED BANK DEMAND DRAFT WHICH CONTAIN $550,000 USD (FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLAR) PACKAGED WITH ALL BACK UP DOCUMENT..

I AM ON TRANSIT AND I HAVE ARRIVED NOW AT OUAGADOUGOU INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT BURKINA FASO, SO YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SEND THE BELOW INFORMATION IMMEDIATELY FOR FINAL DELIVERY TO YOUR ADDRESS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE:

NAME:.......
ADDRESS:.....
COUNTRY:.......
AGE & SEX:.........
DIRECT PHONE:......

THANK YOU AS I WAIT TO RECEIVE THOSE INFORMATION IMMEDIATELY.

SINCERELY IN YOUR SERVICE,
DIPLOMAT DANIEL JAMON.

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The above is one of the more riduculous e-mails I've received.  Let me count the ways there are obvious issues:

1. There is nothing in the "To:" field.   If I received this e-mail because I won a prize why is my e-mail address not there?  Obviously Daniel has my e-mail address as I did receive this e-mail.

2. If Daniel is working for Fedex, which he claims, why does he not have a Fedex.com e-mail address?  As having worked in shipping industry with Fedex I know that all Fedex represenatives have a Fedex.com e-mail address.

3. If Daniel is a "Diplomat" why would he send the e-mail in all caps?  Is he really that mad at me he ended up landing his fat patootie in Burkina Faso from London, England?  Will he be even more angered after if I e-mail him back that he is going the wrong way around the world because I live in Canada and there is a direct flight from London to Toronto?  Wait, if he is really working for Fedex he would probably at least have a flight on Fedex aircraft directly from England to Canada or at least the United States.  How did he end up in Burkina Faso in Africa? Was it a wrong turn?

4. If Daniel is already on route with my package, why does he need my name, address and phone number?  Fedex normally requires this information before anything can be moved.  With this large amount of money in prize winnings why would Fedex allow this package to hit the road and not hold it until they have confirmed with me my details.  Perhaps if Daniel and Fedex did this, Mr. Daniel would not have ended up in the middle of Africa.

5. Are "diplomats" not normally ambassadors or consul general like people?  Why would a diplomat with some foreign government to Great Britain be involved with some contest for a Blackberry.  If RIM, the maker of Blackberry, is involved, how about we just have RIM in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada just ship me something instead?  It would be just so much cheaper and obviously easier than to have Daniel come to Canada via Africa.   Daniel, I imagine, has much more important things to do including hobnobbing with Queen and the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.  Heck, the Duke and Duchess could have saved Daniel so much time by dropping off my prize winnings when they arrived in Canada for their recent visit.

So with all the questions above, why in the heck would I send a reply really.  Mr. Daniel should be relieved of his duties by some foreign government for taking part in this contest.  Obviously he is not doing his duties for his country as he is globe trotting in search of myself in Canada for a contest. 

I haven't the heart to write back to Daniel.  He is so lost in his ways and obviously doesn't know what a diplomat is supposed to do.  He probably has better things to do with his time than visit little old me in Canada.